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31 December, 2008 / Erik

Anti-List

I’m not going to list five films that impressed me this year.

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I’m not even sure if five films managed that. I know for a fact what little new music I heard this year left me cold. My albums of 2008, based on my iTunes numbers: Of Montreal’s “Hissing Fauna, You are the Destroyer” and The Jesus and Mary Chain’s “Darklands.” Instead, I present an Anti-list. A collage of film moments that make up 2008. There is no hierarchy or ratings.

  • “Tomorrow we march on Kristwyn Hold … and gouge evil from its shell!”
    • The crowning moment in Jason Statham’s speech in “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale” tells you everything you’ll ever need to know about Uwe Bole. Just to make sure, he added an offscreen voice shouting “Gouge Evil!” as a button to the scene. It has become my favorite battle cry and the motto on my Xbox gamertag.
  • The Joker’s magic trick
    • In a breif moment, The Joker I grew up reading was exposed to the American public.
  • “I will make you deader than Star Trek.”
    • Of all the outlandish Millerisms on display in Frank Miller’s “The Spirit,” this one had me on the floor. Like Tony Manero’s weird hatred of rythm guitar players, Miller’s sudden dissapointment in the downfall of Trek is baffling and absurd, much like the rest of his directorial debut.
  • The fade from the Paramount Logo in “Crystal Skull.”
    • At the beginning of “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” the traditional fade from the Paramount Logo takes us from that classic image to a CG mole hill with a CG mole shattering the image. A very powerful statement of intent that defines the film that followed.
  • The Punishment of Parkour
    • One of great moments in “Punisher War Zone” concerns the Punisher taking out an “urban free flow gang.” After an excruciating scene of some of the worst Parkour ever filmed, Frank Castle kills them all kinds of dead. It reveals the true tone of the film. Also, I’ll admit I’m not fond of Parkour in movies and to see it used this fashion pleased me greatly.
  • Watching Die Hard on Blu-Ray
    • I finally converted and watching a copy of Die Hard that doesn’t look like it’s caked in mud, shot through cheesecloth, or wondering if I’ve suddenly developed severe  cataracts is worth all the trouble Sony has given us with Blu-Ray Disc.
  • Cinematic Titanic live perfomance
    • On one of the sweltering nights of this past summer, I saw Joel Robinson and his collaborators rip into an astonishingly poor film, “The Doomsday Machine.” As part of his new offering, the CT gang do live shows and it is brilliant.
  • Rambo turns a man into speghetti.
    • “Rambo” is everything I love about Stallone. The opening shots of the kill-crazy orgy of weapons that closes the fourth First Blook movie is the distilled essence of why action movies are so lovable. John Rambo gets onto a truck with a big mounted gun and uses it to turn people into shred of ex-human slop. Trully, an amazing moment of 2008.
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3 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. redqueenar / Jan 1 2009 9:18 pm

    “I finally converted and watching a copy of Die Hard that doesn’t look like it’s caked in mud, shot through cheesecloth, or wondering if I’ve suddenly developed severe ” Word missing! The suspense is killing me!!

  2. Louis / Jan 5 2009 7:34 pm

    And here’s Patton Oswalt on his newfound love for Statham:

    http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=67077201&blogID=461660900

  3. eBookGuru / Jan 14 2009 8:45 pm

    I agree with you – I’m not sure I could name five films that impressed me last year either. I did enjoy The Dark Knight, and I enjoyed Wall-E but that’s a kids movie – I can’t think of any others that I would bother naming.

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