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16 December, 2008 / Erik

December Film Grab Bag

Patton Oswalt gets Punisher War Zone:

The film does not contain a hero. It does not contain an anti-hero. It contains a glowering Brit who huffs around in a bullet-proof body canister like he’s searching for the perfect toilet to unleash a ten burrito dump. He’s just as awful as the villains he dispatches and, unlike scores of other action heroes, does not utter a single clever or ironic quip. He’ll plug someone and already be turning away, scanning the horizon for something else to kill. He’s played by Ray Stevenson, but could have easily been played by Ray Stevens. He’s more a force of destruction than Jason Vorhees or Michael Meyers could ever dream on.

More can be read at his MySpace blog, but I think this paragraph sums it up.

The Spirit did their press thing in New York, so no review from me on this one. Over at Ain’t it Cool, people are calling it the worst movie since Battlefield Earth or “absolutely deprived of anything resembling life.” Of course, AICN has a habit of hyperbole, but I can see how the man who gave us the Goddamned Batman can make a mistake in tone.

This being December, I will soon give you a new Xmas movie recommendation. For once, it’s not a bad movie. Oh, those will be coming, too.

Also, it pains me to no end to admit I want to see a Gus Van Sant film. My review of Milk will appear when I get around to seeing it.

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