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26 November, 2007 / Erik

THS Awarness

As the nation awakens from their tryptophan comas, some may discover they have THS.

Have you not heard of THS? Let me pose these questions to you (or someone you love):

Do you set up a Halloween display in your front lawn on the 1st of October?

Do these decorations remain up until the 4th of Novemeber?

Do you replace them with an inflatable, light-up Turkey?

When you take the turkey down the after Thanksgiving do you replace it with Xmas decorations?

How many?

Possibly an inflatable, light up Nativity scene?

Do those decorations remain lit well into March?

June perhaps?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you, or someone you love, may have That House Syndrome (THS) or Severe Decoration Disorder. THS afflicts millions of Americans each autumn and lasting well into the following year. At a cost of untold dollars in watthours, THS is an energy-consuming disease we can ill afford to ignore.

THS differs from normal celebratory lights and decorations in the following ways: severity and duration. Type I THS is the more common severe decoration complex:

This home is a classic example of Type I. A Type I sufferer may not present symptoms until the second week of December, but symptoms will be sharp and sudden. Often including an excess of lights, multiple inflatable, light-up decorations and snowglobes, or musical accompaniment.

Type II prolonged decoration complex. A Type II sufferer will present symptoms as early as the first of October and continue to present as late as June. The inflatable, light-up turkey is one of the more telling symptoms of Type II THS.

There are also rare cases of prolonged severe decoration complex, usually involving elaborate Halloween displays. Symptoms of both types present in these cases, but is not an official category on its own. It is the least understood presentation of THS and scientist toil night and day to understand the root cause of this, and all cases of THS.

There is help! The THS Awareness Project, or TAP, is dedicated to helping people come to grips with That House Syndrome. The Holiday season, let some know they might be a sufferer, or add to the TAP photo archive. No THS sufferer should feel they are alone. They are not. For more information of THS or to become involved in the THS Awareness Project, do not hesitate to add a comment.

THE PRECEDING HAS BEEN A MESSAGE FROM THE THS AWARENESS PROJECT.

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3 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Shannon / Nov 26 2007 10:20 pm

    I just encountered an inflatable nativity scene at my local hardware megamart and was completely dumbfounded. Does it come with an inflatable baby Jesus to place inside after Christmas?

    There’s a epidemic of THS in my neighborhood. Personally, I’m waiting for the inflatable Virgin Marys…

  2. vera / Nov 27 2007 11:56 pm

    THS 2007! Are we gonna take another journey through the twisted psyche of holiday suburbia again this year?

  3. Erik / Nov 28 2007 3:56 pm

    I’d say that trip is a given. Hell, we could do a study of Type I cases this week. I’ve already spotted some acute cases.

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