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19 September, 2007 / Erik

Oreo Infused Shake Pie Explosion

Remember when you were a kid and Oreo Cookies were a magic promise. Each was two cookies with a center of sugary goo. Yum. The cookies were even chocolate to boot. Double word score. You could even get Double Stuff with extra goo. Triple Word Score! It was all good and such until you got older and could taste the chemicals coursing through the bastards. You discovered the all-natural alternative at Trader Joe’s and swore of Nabisco’s thing forever.

Is that why all deserts are getting an injection of Oreo goodness in them? There’s no fewer than five ways you can boost your desert item at Baskin-Robbins with Oreo explosions. Now, Domino’s, long a staple of the health industry, is advertising a warm Oreo Dessert Pizza. Now, I don’t want to sound like Eben Oldish, the porch-watcher, but what the hell is it with the Oreo market penetration? God forbid we can be responsible Oreo eaters with one or two cookies at sensible intervals, but now we are invited to pig out on these creations of dessert science run amok. These items are not small by any means. The Oreos will devour us whole!

Or at least shoot us all into Type II Diabetes.

And that might be why I look at them with a sort of revulsion. Since changing my diet habits after getting a diagnosis my army of physicians and lab techs call “puzzling,” I cannot help but see these high-blood glucose bombs in any other fashion. I’m still allowed my ice cream, mind. In single scoop portions once or twice a weak. A plan I follow as long as no ice cream is brought into the home. When in the wild, though, a scoop is enough and seeing people buy LARGE SHAKES WITH COOKIES N CREAM (featuring Oreos) injected with yet more Oreo after potentially buying a desert pizza the day before it brings on a feeling I don’t think Nabisco wants associated with their family friendly snack foods.

So, basically, Oreo … knock it off! Thank you.

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One Comment

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  1. Tim / Sep 19 2007 8:37 pm

    Have you seen these new soft oreos? They’re like little oreo cakes. Not bad.

    I’ve been eating oero blizzards since, like, junior high. Or least I was, haven’t had one for a few years.

    Oreo!

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